But I don't want to go to school!

D has been in school since she was 3 months old.  There was an accredited preschool attached to my old job.  Every morning we would walk her to her room, and then I would go downstairs to my office.  She knew I worked in the building and knew where my office was, but she never asked to see me.  When she was about 18 months old, she got separation anxiety.  She would be fine as we walked into the building, but as soon as we went to turn down her hallway, she would fall on the floor crying.  I would carry her into her room and hand her to the open arms of one of her teachers.  We were lucky, because this only lasted for two months.  Then, as suddenly as it started, it stopped.  She was happy to go to school once again.

This last spring, my husband and I decided to move D and L to a new daycare.  With me starting a new job, and not getting paid until the end of September, money is tight.  Our family is committed to living debt free (and have been since right before D was born!), and we knew that we couldn't afford for both girls to go to the preschool where D was.  We prayed about it a LOT, but in the end, we decided that the best thing for our family was a different daycare. 

The husband's school district has a staff only daycare.  The campus where our girls are has two advantages (other than finances).  First, it is 2 1/2 miles from the campus where my husband is.  Second, it is the only daycare that is part of an Early Childhood Center.  The only things on their campus is the daycare, state required pre-K for ESL and low socioeconomic families, and PPCD (early childhood special ed).

For the first week and a half, D was excited about her new school.  She woke up happy and couldn't wait to get to school.  Then Monday, it all changed.  She started crying, running away, and screaming "I don't want to go to my new school".  It is a lot of different things hitting our girl at the same time.  She has a new school, new teachers, new classmates, a new driver (Dad instead of Mom), a new route, no parent in the building, etc.  It can be hard on a child.  We know that in time, she will make friends and enjoy being at this new school.  We just hope that it is sooner rather than later.

The Long Drive Home

For the last three years, D has been my driving companion.  She has been my good listener (before she could talk) and my running dialogue.  We had a 45 minute drive (each way) to where I worked and she went to preschool.  On the way to school, we would talk about what the day had in store, who she would see, what she would eat, who she would play with, how she would act, etc.  On the way home, we would recap her day by talking about who she played with, what she ate, who she saw, etc.  Do you see the pattern? 

I have listened to countless hours of "her music" and even more hours of her little voice.  My D is quite the talker, I wonder where she gets it from!  Little L only spent 3 months riding along listening to the talkative one.  Now, in addition to having this precious talking (or listening for me) time, I also had the advantage of the HOV lane.  I could fly (OK go about 30 mph) down 635 past the 35 interchange looking at all of the single driver cars and feeling good.  I remember getting pulled over in the HOV lane, driving the Civic, because they couldn't see the baby seat that D was in. 

Since I started my new job in early August, I have been car ride companion less.  For the first few weeks, it was AMAZING!!!  I can listen to whatever I want, I can keep the air conditioner at the temperature I want, I can have peace and quiet.  Then, last week, I realized that I missed the constant chatter.  I missed hearing about D's day and hearing her sing made up songs really loudly and out of key (every key).  I get lonely on my drive into work and home again.

Today, the husband had a dentist appointment.  Because of the timing, I had to pick up the girls.  I had to drive an hour away to pick up the girls and then drive them the 40 minutes home.  The drive to their new school was long, but mostly familiar since it is close to where the husband used to work.  When I arrived in her room, D was thrilled and she ran up to me and gave me a great big hug.  We walked to Little L's room (two doors down) and I was greeted with a dimpled smile.  On the way home, Little L "aahhed" and "cooed" for most of the drive.  D told me all about her day.  It was GREAT!!!  I truly missed this treasure of time.  I know that before long, this will no longer be a regular occurrence.  This is a blessing that I have had and I miss.  Big D, keep telling me all about your day and singing your songs. 

I am live, hopefully.

Well, this is now my second attempt at a blog in less than a week.  My previous one is lost somewhere in cyberspace.  So, here goes.

This weekend was a series of emotions and events.  On Friday night, we put L into her crib in her own room for the first time.  She has played there and took one brief, and I do mean brief, nap there, yet she has never slept there for an extended period of time.  Instead, she slept in a travel bassinet on my side of the bed where she would lay quietly staring intently at me willing me not to move or roll over or go out of her line of site.  She has slept through the night since she was 2 months old, but has always had to have her eyeballs on one of us during the day and night.  The sleeping in her own bedroom has been successful!!  I wake up listening for her over the monitor, but she is sleeping through the night.

My father was hospitalized this Friday night.  I wish I could say that it is nothing and he is fine, but truth be told, I don't know.  The reports I am getting from my mother are vague to say the least.  I know that he is on a liquid diet and all of his counts are screwy, and that is almost a direct quote.  They are running a battery of tests and he is staying indefinately.  He was here in early August and wasn't feeling well, and he still isn't feeling well.  That was three weeks ago and it finally got so bad that he checked himself into the ER.  My mom is a nervous wreck, but is keeping it together.  Now, we wait and see what is wrong with him.  The doctors are thinking several things, but nothing is certain and no diagnosis has been offered.  So, any and all prayers (no matter your religion) are welcome, wanted and appreciated. 

Please also pray for Gigi, my grandmother.  When she was here in early August she fell and broke her shoulder (again).  She had surgery about 2 weeks ago and is in a rehab room at her assisted living facility.  I spoke with her this weekend and she is in good spirits and was happy to hear from me.  Hopefully, the next blog post will be more positive.

But for now, lunches are mostly made, bags are mostly packed, and we are heading into the new week prepared (for the most part).