Healing, Inside and Out

Baby Boy started school (daycare) yesterday.  He is officially 6 weeks old!  The girls were excited that he was going to school with him and D wanted to take him for show and tell.  I decided not to go back to work yesterday and to take one more day to heal.  With three children, I don't always allow myself time to rest.  All three of my children were C-Sections (another blog post maybe to explain why), and I healed differently each time.  After D was born, both of us were in my office after just three short weeks.  She stayed in my office until she was three months old.  Little L and I went back to work when she was six weeks old, and she stayed in my office until she was three months old.

This is the first time that I went to work and the baby went somewhere else.  It feels....weird!  Baby Boy is my little buddy and other than one time, everywhere I went, he went.  I needed yesterday to rest and work on healing, inside and out. 

Inside: I had to be okay emotionally with the baby not coming to work with me and to start daycare so young.  Inside, I had to mentally prepare to go back to teaching, standing on my feet all day, and being "on". Inside: I had to forgive myself for not getting everything done that I had intended.  These weren't huge projects like refinishing cabinets, but just little things I had hoped to do.

Outside: I had to make sure that the physical pain was gone or minimal.  Outside: I had to be able to stand/walk for long periods of time.  Outside: I had to make sure that my incision was closed or at least closing.  This one, I did not fully accomplish.

Since my two week post operation visit to my OBGYN, I have been going weekly.  There are two places on my incision that have not closed completely.  They cause a lot of discomfort and we have no idea why it is taking me so long to heal.  I went to my Endocrinologist to see if the Gestational Diabetes was causing me to be a slow healer, and they don't think that is the cause.  There is an infection and a rash as well on the incision.  These are the reasons I took an extra day at home by myself.

I started back to work today, on what I consider a slower day.  I am feeling okay, but definitely not back to my old self.  Maybe this week's doctor visit will be the week that I am told that I am healed.  Maybe.