Love is a Choice

Last night, my husband and I had the privilege of listening to Lori Palatnik.  She is a speaker who writes and record for Aish.com.  Lori also instigated and ran all of the JWRP (Jewish Women Renaissance Project) trips to Israel.  The JWRP is a trip for women from all over the world to experience Israel on a Women only trip.  This trip took me to Israel in 2010, right after I found out that I was pregnant with Little L.

She is an energetic, enthusiastic, fun, knowledgeable woman who travels the world for speaking engagements.  Lori is a frum woman who is married to a Rabbi.  If you want to learn more, aish.com has articles and podcasts from her that are truly inspirational.

Last night, she came to my shul to talk about tips for a great marriage.  I took a bunch of notes, but a few things really stuck out to me.  She asked the group of men and women, who is an extrovert married to an introvert?  Then she said that we are drawn to our opposite because they complete you.  When G-d splits our soul and sends us out into the world, he doesn't split it straight down the middle, but rather it is a wavy split like a puzzle.  When we find the right person, their piece fits perfectly to us.

When we are looking for a spouse, we are not looking for the perfect person.  Rather, we are looking for the perfect person for us.  Also, love is a choice.  We choose to love our spouse, our children, our friends.  We know when we are pregnant that we will love that child because we are choosing to love the child.  To stay in "love" you have to work at it. 

I heard this talk, or a version of it, when I was in Israel and the parent of one child.  Now, almost three years later, I am the mother of three children and have been married for almost 11 years.  It is nice to get the reminder that love is a choice and that we grow from how we handle our spouses flaws.  So, I choose love.